Dark Weather
by MagicConan14
Summary: A quest for immortality leads the Agency to go up against an adversary by the name of Dark Weather, but who are they and what's their real motive? Done for #bsdwrite no. 7 (hell). RPG class AU, alcohol and implied drowning involved.


**Title:** Dark Weather

 **Characters:** Osamu Dazai, Atsushi Nakajima, Doppo Kunikida, Akiko Yosano, Chuuya Nakahara

 **Summary:** A quest for immortality leads the Agency to go up against an adversary by the name of Dark Weather, but who are they and what's their real motive? Done for #bsdwrite no. 7 (hell).

 **Notes:** RPG class AU, with the only members of the Agency in this fic being those listed above. Alcohol and implied drowning involved.

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own these characters.

* * *

The worst hell is created by oneself.

Hence, this was hell for Osamu Dazai - the Hope Springs Eternal, a large glittering lake (contrary to its name) with the greenest grass anyone had ever seen, laid in front of him and...he had fallen in. By tripping over a rock.

Only one person could choose to take immortality from the secluded Springs before its power was rendered useless, and the Armed Hero Agency had chosen the least willing mage to have that opportunity.

/

"The good thing is that I won't need to use my powers on him." Healer Yosano sighed happily as she turned her head to see the newly-immortal adventurer, lying on the grass face down. "When he was just an ordinary erasure mage, I had to expend my energy and magic on him a lot."

"How did I ever..." could barely be heard from Dazai, mumbling through the grass.

/

As the not-so-merry band of heroes known as the Armed Hero Agency reached the port town known as Yokohama, a poster with a hat-wearing redhead in a suit caught Dazai's eye.

"Dark Weather...assassin..." summoner Atsushi read slowly, not noticing how the normally cheery Dazai had gone into a state of silence. "Report to Minoura in the tavern with Dark Weather Hat when caught."

"'Dark Weather' is just his alias, his name's actually Chuuya Nakahara," Dazai added rather matter-of-factly, prodding the small font which detailed exactly that.

/

Healer Yosano wandered into a tavern while the others performed their reconnaissance work...and came face-to-face with the man himself, sitting on a bar stool, wine glass in hand, right in plain sight from the entrance. She steeled herself, trying not to get distracted from the heavy scent of alcohol emanating from the surroundings, and got behind him for the kill-

"If it isn' someone tryin' to catch me for the sake of my 'at," he suddenly warbled, clearly drunk. "You want immortality, don't cha?"

Her eyes lit at this revelation, and she administered a karate chop to his head instead. She wasn't prepared for what would happen next though - a (still slightly wet) Dazai entered the tavern, causing Chuuya to snap out of his drunken stupor, punch her in the face and run off.

"According to some of the information I just got, it seems Chuuya-san has recently been researching the Hope Springs Eternal. He was once a gravity-controlling mage, but his predominant class is 'martial artist'. There was never anything about him being an assassin," he told Yosano, but she could only growl in pain and protest.

/

The band of heroes - with more spring in their step and will in their eyes - charged back to the Hope Springs Eternal.

"Dark Weather!" Kunikida cried out, having spotted the assassin in question on an island in the middle of the lake. "Don't tell me you want immortality too?"

"I already have it!" the suited mage chortled as he used his ability to make the Agency members float, "I got here before you."

"Does that mean I'm not immortal? Yahoo!" screamed Dazai, swimming in mid-air. However, he accidentally headbutted Chuuya, so suddenly everyone came crashing down. Dazai and Chuuya fell into the lake with a huge splash.

/

Dazai opened his eyes to find himself underwater, Chuuya's hat floating on the surface of the water but his body nowhere to be seen.

 _The Springs really do "spring eternal",_ he thought mockingly as he grabbed the hat, then made his way to the surface.

/

At the bottom of the lake, Chuuya was entangled in some lengthy tendrils of seaweed...and a bright purple octopus was in front of him, watching his every move. He wished to cry out, but he gave up, not only because he couldn't breathe underwater, but because his vision was swimming even more than his body was. The drinks he'd had at the tavern were too much for him...

A white tiger suddenly swam into view, slashing his bindings and the octopus simultaneously. Before he could question where it came from or what it was doing, the world went black.

/

The next thing Chuuya knew, he was awake. Groggy, and with his head at a strange angle, but awake. He swore he drowned at the bottom of the lake, although he didn't know whether it was because of the tiger or the octopus.

Dazai smirked at him while the erasure mage wrung some water out from his bandages. "Aren't you happy we saved you, Chuuya-san?"

"Of course not, you want me for the bounty and my hat!" Chuuya rubbed the grogginess from his eyes and tried to snatch back his hat from its position behind Dazai, but the tiger from earlier stepped on it. Summoner Atsushi was nearby, controlling its movements. "What you don't know is that I was never an assassin in the first place," he continued, vaulting himself over using the beast's back, "the system has an error in it for dual-class people like myself." He yanked at the hat in vain, not even thinking to use his gravity-controlling powers to move either the tiger or the hat. Once he did, though, collecting his hat was easy.

Summoner Kunikida, still holding a wet coil of fishing wire which was presumedly used in the rescue of Dazai and Chuuya, ruminated over this, then raised a finger in suggestion. "How about this?" Everyone, even Chuuya, listened in...

/

After organising the paperwork to iron out Chuuya's dual-class problem, the Agency dragged him to Minoura and surrendered his hat.

"Alright now, pay your tab! Or else I'll get you arrested!" the villager yelled, leaving Dazai to snicker at him.

Forget being immortal, Chuuya had just found hell.

* * *

 _Dark Weather (Kurai Tenkou)_ is the name of one of Chuuya's works.


End file.
